i am.

i've been desiring to post something the past few days and haven't actually sat down and done it.
2 am
garden isle health care and rehabilitation center.
lihue kauai
location. pad on the floor.
current emotion.
not sure

my mom is breathing above me. her breaths long and solid. she is here. she is alive at this moment.

next to me lies my best friend and her man friend.

above me lies my mother.
she is dying.
she is breathing
and yet her body is rotting, unable to move, unable to talk. barely breathing.
She can't even swallow water.

my body hurts.
my head hurts and my muscles and i feel heavy. i sleep a lot. i am present a lot.
i care. i love. i am strong. i am amazing.

love does things that without it would be impossible.

i am loved, i am amazing and i am here.

i am grateful.
and i love.