I feel as though a spore has been covering my heart tightly.
Last weekend I ate medicine and it helped to break that spore open just a touch.
Emotions are leaking out.
They're strong.
I miss her. I miss her so much. I am trying to forget the bad and remember before the bad.
When she was my best friend, my guardian, my hero. Someone I loved with my whole heart and trusted with everything. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust any one as much as I did her. And I don't know if I'll ever be loved by anyone as fiercely as she loved me.
That hurts.
She held my hand when I was young and guided me in this bumpy road we call life. I feel like she did a pretty amazing job.
I don't want to forget. I think i'm afraid of forgetting. Time does funny things to people.
It heals. Yet is healing forgetting?
When she was sick I just wanted her to be out of pain. Now that she's gone I just want her back. Her, not the cancer person she was.
I miss my mommy.
and it hurts.
