I have a story. a long drawn out story. My life. My world. My Story. Who i am and why i am the way that i am. Why we do what we do.
It's too long for the blog.
It's too long to listen to over a cup of coffee, or even a dinner date.
My story is unique.
Don't they always say that? Every human you meet will tell you their story is unique.
That's ok, we all have stories. They're all unique.
My Story is my dream.
and my dream will become reality very shortly.
I want to help share other's stories. I want us to come together and understand each other so we can support each other instead of putting judgments on the different ways us humans choose to live our lives.
I want to know what the core root power of Beauty. What is Beauty? what does it mean? what does it look like? what does it taste like? how does it make you feel? what is your secret beauty ingredient or specialty? How do you feel the concept of beauty is today, as apposed to yesteryear?
So many questions. So many minds, and so many different options.
I am beauty.
I see beauty
I feel beauty
I am blessed to have it living inside of me, on my skin, on my orah and in my living environment. In my friends, colleges, strangers and in every breath i take. Beauty surrounds me every day. i am blessed.
Beauty is what you make it. Everyone is beautiful. We just have to all find it within ourselves!
Beauty Diaries. Here we come!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Life Couching Homework with Tony Robbin's assistant coach.
Full Name*
Jenny Rose Heartsong
Occupation*
Esthetician, seamstress, life motivator and friend.
Marital Status*
single
What's going great in your life?*
I feel so blessed. I have amazing friends, a job i love, an amazing business opportunity. I live in paradise and get to swim in the ocean any time. I am well liked and very popular. I have beautiful people (on the inside and out) surrounding me giving me love and gravitate. I go snorkeling and swimming and hiking and camping often. I am blessed and have a healthy, strong and attractive body and have physical beauty. I have plentiful healthy and nutritious food around me all the time and company while i enjoy my food. i have plenty of clean water and air. i have religious freedom to pray how i want to. I have the right to be equal as a female in this country in the 21st century. I have the best friend in the world who i trust completely and we build each other up in many different types of ways. I have beautiful men complimenting me and enjoying my company. I have wonderful older woman around me giving me advise and being a support. I live in nature. I am safe. I am happy and i am ok with being honest and sharing my feelings. I feel emotionally supported.
What is the #1 Goal you would like to accomplish in the next 12 months?*
To become completely finically abundant.
What is the 2nd most important goal you would like to accomplish in the next 12 months?*
To fully grieve and let go of the past and move forward in my life for the better in every situation.
What is the 3rd most important goal you would like to accomplish in the next 12 months?*
To have a wonderful business (that is finically abundant) and enjoy my work in all aspects of my life.
What beliefs/fears are holding you back?*
My mother has severe cancer and is on her last amount of time on this world. I am putting a lot of my energy into her that i would be putting into a business or finical security. I have been working through my childhood and understanding why i have patterns that i do and i'm reprogramming myself so that i don't keep those negative patterns with me. And i have insecurities in my own knowledge of things and don't think i'm good enough to have my own business or for people to come to me as clients. That I'm too young and don't know enough about having a small business and that i'm not talented enough to do what i want to do. I also feel scared that because i'm spending so much time with my sick mother that i am going to be left behind in some of my social networking and opportunities. Im afraid of getting heart broken again and afraid to get close to anyone because of it.
Why do you want to accomplish these goals?*
To be less stressed and more confident in my future and my surroundings. So i can travel and reach my goals and so i can help support people in this world who have it worse than me.
What character qualities would you like to see in your coach?*
Someone who can keep me interested and not bored. SOmeone who when i'm done with the conversation i feel like i've learned something and i feel more motivated. and someone who can reach me at my level and work with me where i'm at.
What are you hoping to gain through Coaching?*
More positive inspiration and self confidence.
Additional Notes/Background
Since January of 2011 i have been struggling with the tug of war between my mother who has been dying of cancer and also being extremely negative and completely creating her own reality. not having any way of helping or changing her. No matter how hard i try and work and help, it's never good enough. I've been working very hard on reprogramming my patterns. I also have a serious issue with picking at my body which creates ache all over my body and scarring and i am trying soooo hard to quit and it hasn't happened...yet. i do notice i tend to pick more often while thinking about my mother and while driving in the car. I have gone through a lot of depression this past year and i sometimes find myself slipping back into that and i'm scared of being depressed because it took so much work to get where i am. And at the same time, i know i am stronger now that i was a year ago and can handle things with much more grace and confidence than i did before. I also got my heart broken for the first time this past summer along with being my super sick mother's caregiver. Both my grandmothers died around the same time. all within a few weeks/months. I grew up super super poor and i would like to change that poor reality around and become finically abundant and never have to worry about paying bills or not affording plane tickets for trips for me or my family. and i would love to be able to buy property soon in kauai. I would love to feel more secure in all aspects of my life. Including work, where i reside, relationships, finances and friendships.
Jenny Rose Heartsong
Occupation*
Esthetician, seamstress, life motivator and friend.
Marital Status*
single
What's going great in your life?*
I feel so blessed. I have amazing friends, a job i love, an amazing business opportunity. I live in paradise and get to swim in the ocean any time. I am well liked and very popular. I have beautiful people (on the inside and out) surrounding me giving me love and gravitate. I go snorkeling and swimming and hiking and camping often. I am blessed and have a healthy, strong and attractive body and have physical beauty. I have plentiful healthy and nutritious food around me all the time and company while i enjoy my food. i have plenty of clean water and air. i have religious freedom to pray how i want to. I have the right to be equal as a female in this country in the 21st century. I have the best friend in the world who i trust completely and we build each other up in many different types of ways. I have beautiful men complimenting me and enjoying my company. I have wonderful older woman around me giving me advise and being a support. I live in nature. I am safe. I am happy and i am ok with being honest and sharing my feelings. I feel emotionally supported.
What is the #1 Goal you would like to accomplish in the next 12 months?*
To become completely finically abundant.
What is the 2nd most important goal you would like to accomplish in the next 12 months?*
To fully grieve and let go of the past and move forward in my life for the better in every situation.
What is the 3rd most important goal you would like to accomplish in the next 12 months?*
To have a wonderful business (that is finically abundant) and enjoy my work in all aspects of my life.
What beliefs/fears are holding you back?*
My mother has severe cancer and is on her last amount of time on this world. I am putting a lot of my energy into her that i would be putting into a business or finical security. I have been working through my childhood and understanding why i have patterns that i do and i'm reprogramming myself so that i don't keep those negative patterns with me. And i have insecurities in my own knowledge of things and don't think i'm good enough to have my own business or for people to come to me as clients. That I'm too young and don't know enough about having a small business and that i'm not talented enough to do what i want to do. I also feel scared that because i'm spending so much time with my sick mother that i am going to be left behind in some of my social networking and opportunities. Im afraid of getting heart broken again and afraid to get close to anyone because of it.
Why do you want to accomplish these goals?*
To be less stressed and more confident in my future and my surroundings. So i can travel and reach my goals and so i can help support people in this world who have it worse than me.
What character qualities would you like to see in your coach?*
Someone who can keep me interested and not bored. SOmeone who when i'm done with the conversation i feel like i've learned something and i feel more motivated. and someone who can reach me at my level and work with me where i'm at.
What are you hoping to gain through Coaching?*
More positive inspiration and self confidence.
Additional Notes/Background
Since January of 2011 i have been struggling with the tug of war between my mother who has been dying of cancer and also being extremely negative and completely creating her own reality. not having any way of helping or changing her. No matter how hard i try and work and help, it's never good enough. I've been working very hard on reprogramming my patterns. I also have a serious issue with picking at my body which creates ache all over my body and scarring and i am trying soooo hard to quit and it hasn't happened...yet. i do notice i tend to pick more often while thinking about my mother and while driving in the car. I have gone through a lot of depression this past year and i sometimes find myself slipping back into that and i'm scared of being depressed because it took so much work to get where i am. And at the same time, i know i am stronger now that i was a year ago and can handle things with much more grace and confidence than i did before. I also got my heart broken for the first time this past summer along with being my super sick mother's caregiver. Both my grandmothers died around the same time. all within a few weeks/months. I grew up super super poor and i would like to change that poor reality around and become finically abundant and never have to worry about paying bills or not affording plane tickets for trips for me or my family. and i would love to be able to buy property soon in kauai. I would love to feel more secure in all aspects of my life. Including work, where i reside, relationships, finances and friendships.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
To be young, to be free, to be fabulous.
To be free, to be young, to be fabulous! I am grateful. Through hard times I am grateful for all the most beautiful things surrounding me. I can feel it. feel the love, feel the beauty and i have never loved myself so much. That is my power. I am strong. Life has made me strong. Lesson i've learned i would not share with anyone, through all the pain I have come out wiser, more in my power and nothing can hold me back. I am me. and I am beautiful.
That is my status on Facebook. A few minutes after i wrote it, from my own original head, someone else posted the same thing on their status on Facebook.
It made me realize that I am me, and yet I am not alone, and I have my own issues and others have theirs. and my issues aren't any worse or better. they're just issues.
Gigantic overwhelming, sad, scary issues.
Fuck Cancer.
fuck fuck fuck fuck cancer.
I am crying right now. I thought i forgot how to. i sometimes forget how to feel. because it's easier. it's easier to numb my body and my heart and just put on some sort of robot action. It also makes people around me think i'm ok.
In ways I am. and in ways i'm not. In ways i have support and in ways i don't.
I am scared. I don't know how i will feel when she's gone. And right now doesn't feel too good either.
That is my status on Facebook. A few minutes after i wrote it, from my own original head, someone else posted the same thing on their status on Facebook.
It made me realize that I am me, and yet I am not alone, and I have my own issues and others have theirs. and my issues aren't any worse or better. they're just issues.
Gigantic overwhelming, sad, scary issues.
Fuck Cancer.
fuck fuck fuck fuck cancer.
I am crying right now. I thought i forgot how to. i sometimes forget how to feel. because it's easier. it's easier to numb my body and my heart and just put on some sort of robot action. It also makes people around me think i'm ok.
In ways I am. and in ways i'm not. In ways i have support and in ways i don't.
I am scared. I don't know how i will feel when she's gone. And right now doesn't feel too good either.
Friday, March 9, 2012
A Precious Ruby
The connection between hearts is stronger than I imagine human's minds can comprehend. Souls lost into the universe for eternity, sometimes finding each other and sometimes not. The older we get in our path of lives i believe we are more able to find our soul mates again and again. Each life time coming closer and closer to having them by our side.
This life time I am blessed to have found one of the most amazing and beautiful soul mates.
I found an article online and it made me happy.
"Twin Flame Soulmates
This is the most popular type of soulmate. There is usually one twin flame soulmate for each of us. Twin flame soulmates have spent multiple lifetimes together in past lives. There is incredible chemistry and attraction towards each other. They "complete" each other and only few lucky people are able to find their twin flame soulmate. Twin flame soulmates, if separated, usually suffer enormous pain."
I believe I have found her. A best friend, a Soul connection. A support, a teacher, a student, a lover, and someone i fully completely trust and believe in.
I was receiving a massage from her the other day and it hit me. I've been single for quite some time now, only 8 months, but hey i like being in a relationship. And i don't need to be in anymore. I don't need the attention a man gives me, i don't need the emotional support that comes from a man whom is my lover.
I have my perfect half. I have someone who reads my mind, who finishes my thoughts and holds my hand when i cry (or holds me like a baby in her arms)
I am so excited to get to know her more. To share our dreams together and our accomplishments. To hold her hand when she needs me, to be a best friend until forever.
In a marriage ceremony they say "till death do us part"
Well it's a good thing that we're not married.
This life time I am blessed to have found one of the most amazing and beautiful soul mates.
I found an article online and it made me happy.
"Twin Flame Soulmates
This is the most popular type of soulmate. There is usually one twin flame soulmate for each of us. Twin flame soulmates have spent multiple lifetimes together in past lives. There is incredible chemistry and attraction towards each other. They "complete" each other and only few lucky people are able to find their twin flame soulmate. Twin flame soulmates, if separated, usually suffer enormous pain."
I believe I have found her. A best friend, a Soul connection. A support, a teacher, a student, a lover, and someone i fully completely trust and believe in.
I was receiving a massage from her the other day and it hit me. I've been single for quite some time now, only 8 months, but hey i like being in a relationship. And i don't need to be in anymore. I don't need the attention a man gives me, i don't need the emotional support that comes from a man whom is my lover.
I have my perfect half. I have someone who reads my mind, who finishes my thoughts and holds my hand when i cry (or holds me like a baby in her arms)
I am so excited to get to know her more. To share our dreams together and our accomplishments. To hold her hand when she needs me, to be a best friend until forever.
In a marriage ceremony they say "till death do us part"
Well it's a good thing that we're not married.
Till forever and to all eternity.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Stormy
This island is flooded and along with the floods there are floods in the hearts of friends of mine and with my own heart. Floods flowing over around creating complications in the lives of the people in and around them.
I'm glad i made it home safely.
She's sitting in the hospital bed. Alone. and i don't care enough to go visit more than once a week. what's wrong with me? How can I be so selfish? What will i feel when she's gone? I need to make her more a priority. and my life is so full. full of everything, mostly getting back up on my own two feet again.
I would not like to be living out on the beach right now. This storm is crazy.
So what happens when she leaves? Leaves this world. and i have nothing.
Being around her hurts. it hurts to see her hurting. it hurts to be in her presence and feel her pain and listen to her suffering. She is sick. very sick. who knows how much time she has left. and it hurts. it hurts me a lot. i cry. i feel heavy. i feel pain. i feel frustration, anger, regret, loss of power, impatience, and behind it all, attachment and caring. Love and longing. Who is going to help me do my taxes? who is going to calm me down when i'm upset? who is going to give me advise. She's my mom. As i'm typing this out my throat tightens up and i feel scared. Jenny no regrets. love her, care for her and do the best you can.
start now.
aho.
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