direction.

these past few weeks have been a blur. a horrible, painful, torturing blur. 

and now. i am. 

and in all honestly i have no idea how to be. 

what to do with my life. 

what direction to turn. 

i want to travel. 

i can go almost anywhere. 

and in all honesty i have no idea where to go. 

i want to escape. 

to leave the "how are you?"s 

and the

"oh i heard, i'm so sorry"

If you haven't been involved in the process. don't say anything to my face. don't ask. 

it's annoying. 

i have really enjoyed all the messages, texts and attempts at phone calls. ( sorry i don't tend to pick up) 

i get the same questions. 

what am i supposed to say?

my mom just died. and i watched it happen. 

so yea "i'm great!" 

fuck that. 

i want to run off to some country and have a beautiful love affair with some amazing man who is sweet, passionate, kind, sexy, fun, wealthy, and has an accent. and is total into me of course. 

i want to run away. 

maybe i'm not running away from something

maybe i'm wanting to run to something. 

i'm just not sure what that is quite yet. 

Creator please guide my journey in the right direction. 

Mahalo