Adele - Someone Like You

Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal) (Extended Version)

Smile

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

'Heavy' Mary Oliver

"Heavy," by Mary Oliver

That time
I thought I could not
go any closer to grief
without dying

I went closer,
and I did not die.
Surely God
had his hand in this,

as well as friends.
Still, I was bent,
and my laughter,
as the poet said,

was nowhere to be found.
Then said my friend Daniel,
(brave even among lions),
"It's not the weight you carry

but how you carry it -
books, bricks, grief -
it's all in the way
you embrace it, balance it, carry it

when you cannot, and would not,
put it down."
So I went practicing.
Have you noticed?

Have you heard
the laughter
that comes, now and again,
out of my startled mouth?

How I linger
to admire, admire, admire
the things of this world
that are kind, and maybe

also troubled -
roses in the wind,
the sea geese on the steep waves,
a love
to which there is no reply?

Me?

I... Am
A lover
A dreamer
A loud mouth
I tend to wear my heart all over my body instead of just my arm.
I am bossy
I am insecure
I'm beautiful
A wanna be
A flirt
A girl turning into a woman
Afraid
Scared
Strong
Bright
Cheerful
Cloudy
A stoner
A student
A crafter
A jeweler
A artist
A snake
Jewpy
Happy
Sad
Alone
Excited
Positive
Stubborn
Free
ALIVE
Healthy
Whole
In control
Balanced
Sexy
Fun
Funny
I am me. And that should be good enough.

My little girl is sad.

I feel like a lost little girl. Confused, alone and frightened. I have this deep boiling anger welling up inside of my chest. This world makes me so sad. This country I call home I have no pride in. From mass murder of the natives to black slavery to pointless wars, what is there to be proud of? What do I stand for? Who am I? I honestly couldn't tell you. I can't figure it out myself. I meet boys and men and some I let close and some I'm scared of. Some I'm infatuated with. Some I'm in love with, (very few get that title.) some I learn to despise and some I have a lifetime of regrets.
Who am I?
How can I help this world?
How can I find the partner who I can get past the honeymoon faze with?
Should I go to college? Or go sleep in the cold rainy concrete streets and protest this fucked up world? Knowing my anger I'll probably get thrown in jail and then what good am I?
How can I put up my boundries without hurting anyone?
Can I learn to be more positive, patient, happy, mature, wise and without regret?
This past year I've had more regret that I can remember ever having in my whole life.
Am I still in love with you? I've thought this whole time I was, then hearing u could be with someone new made me possibly change my heart.
Maybe.
I'm scared to see you. I don't think I could choke anything out, I haven't a clue what to say or how to act. I don't know if i can be your friend. have u forgotten me?
And don't even get me started on my mother. Last time we spoke she said she didn't want to see me when I returned home. Why am I going back then? Why is my soul chained to someone I feel complete distance from? How would I feel if she died tomorrow?
In all honesty my life has been pretty amazing the past few months and when I look ahead with a realistic mind set my future is so bright I need shades!
Just a moment.
Moments happen. And that's ok.
I'm afraid of the unknown and I don't like it when I'm not in control of my whole world within my own vision.
Why is pms so annoying?
Haha
I wish I had some sexy, strong, kind arms to hold me while I try to sleep.
And yes I still love you. And that scares me.

They say

The best way to get over a lover is to find a new one...
Not sure if that's true.
Three weeks.